I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He has the fingertips of a God
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