guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need water and some morals
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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