You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im part way to drunk.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dicks are not precious.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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