And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize