Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it glows. i had to have it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
