Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
