Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
