Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
