How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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