no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
