I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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