I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
