Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
