im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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