R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
