this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
