I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
