my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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