wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
