dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
