she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
