his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
