so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
