I wanna bring you to show and tell
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
