normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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