i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
