Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
how drunk are you?
Several
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
