Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
