summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
