he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
