so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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