Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
