Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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