I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
