I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
