We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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