i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
