I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
