her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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