I like my sex mixed with concussions.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
