i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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