I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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