Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
