shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
