My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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