That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize