Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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