People in love make me want to vomit
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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