i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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