It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
