last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
where are my eyebrows?
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