help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
