Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize