I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
