I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
