i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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