i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
