When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
