my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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