the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
